Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Heart Wrenching, Gut Ripping, Soul Piercing Goodbyes

DFM tomya theone perers

My parents leaving me;

They left me with my grandparents to go have my brother at the hospital. I can barely remember saying this, but recall from the many times my grandpa retold the story to me. I asked him if I could go home when it drew dark outside. His response, “You can tomorrow”, left me with nothing else to say but, “Just put me to bed then”.

The death of my brother;

Only the more heart wrenching time was six months earlier, as I sat on my living room couch sobbing, just after witnessing him run out in front of a car.

Leaving my sister in Terre Haute;

My husband, our son and me moving a thousand miles away from home for the first time. I had many people I would miss, but it was when I looked into the eyes of my sister and saw her tears I was moved to tears myself.

Leaving my twelve year old daughter in Sulphur;

The sight of everyone standing together in the parking lot of our church, arms around my daughter as they waved goodbye. What were we thinking?

Leaving my children at the airport;

We had accepted the call and packed our bags. We were leaving to serve as missionaries to Australia. We had countless people question our choice to leave four of our five children in various stages of life as we left for the mission field.

Unknown future, goodbyes;

Leaving my oldest with his son and wife 9 months pregnant at the airport not knowing their future. No visa to stay, too pregnant to fly. I wanted them to have answers. I wanted to be there for them. God was in control.

Leaving my baby in Australia;

We knew our return to the states was near, but the goodbye was felt deep when she fell in love and said “I do”.

Final results after three conclusive ultrasounds;

We were in our fourth month of our first pregnancy and an ultrasound detected a defect. Saying goodbye to our child before we could even hold her in our arms left us numb for the next five months.

Every time I leave my parents these days;

I have lived far away from home for many years. The child like giddiness I feel as I near my home town is exciting. The older my parents get the more dread and loneliness emerge. I feelings grow with intensity as I pull away from their house .

Heart Wrenching, Gut Ripping, Soul Piercing Goodbyes;

Some goodbyes haven’t happened yet. Others I won’t even see coming. Goodbyes are a part of our everyday life. Make them count. Make them memorable. Purpose them with passion and inspiration for the next hello, whether in this life or the next.

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